


Too Far

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Besides English is not my mother language, But definitely not fluff, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), I don't trust my writing skills, I love them too much, Idiots in Love, Maybe angst, Reylo songfic, The song is perfect for the two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 13:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19358056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Reylo songfic based on the song "too far "by Anna F.





	Too Far

_You and I under different stars_  
_you dream a lot_  
_and I keep chasing the past_

 _"_ You are still holding on! Let go! "  
For days, his voice has haunted her. The bond has never opened since the door closed on Crait. And to that, Rey is grateful. _It has made it easier for her to convince herself to see him as the enemy._  
But she isn't alone. Every time she closes her eyes, a memory of Ben's will appear in her sight. Being bondmates means looking deeply into each other's soul.   
  
_to remind you of who we are,_  
_you've been gone for a while_

But how can you be so close to someone so distant? How can you open fire at your enemy when you share the deepest fears?   
She closes her eyes. This time, she sees Ben Solo, young and innocent, sitting in the darkness. He could not be more than 5 years old.   
"Mom! Dad! Come back! "He was screaming, tears welled up in his eyes. His small hands clenched at his side, as he murmured that *they* were coming for him. Silhouettes and specters wouldn't let him go to sleep, and all the boy could do is brace himself and tremble and quietly cry.   
Then, young Ben Solo's voice dissolved into young Reys, and Rey snaps her eyes open.

 _in a distance another time_  
_when you lay with me in the stillness of night_  
_I'm there where we used to be_  
_calling out, calling out_

Rey swallows. She is in Maz's castle, again. She has never seen so much green in this world, so she was thrilled at the first sight of Takodana. However, now all the planet can remind her of is slashing Ben's face and kicking him onto the ground.   
She remembers how he carried her into that Starkiller Base. He used the Force to put her to sleep, but her cognition was sober. Not being able to open her eyes, though, but she swears she can still feel the ghostly presence of his strong arms supporting her back. She was too afraid to think about the meaning of the gesture, then, but now after all that they've been through...

 _Lay down, lay down on my shoulder, take me to the water,_  
_lets not talk it over_  
_We're islands in an ocean, silences are broken,_  
_lay down on my shoulder as if we were still closer_  
  
She remembers holding his hand on Ahch-to. As their fingers touched, a version emerged into her sight. She saw them on Ahch-to, both _physically_ in one place. Ben was not wearing the dark cloak any more. Instead, he was wearing a grey robe, just like what she was dressed in. Rey was laying on his shoulder, before them was the vast ocean surrounding the island. Together they looked up at the sky, on which two moons were shining so bright.  
A single tear escaped from her right eye.

 _but we're too far, drifting too far_  
_but we're too far, drifting too far_

Ben Solo is probably a galaxy far away.  
Good. That's perfect for the Resistence.   
But hearing the quiet hum of the force bond float around her, Rey doesn't feel good at all.  
They're too far. Too far.

 _Feel the rush of my secret heart,_  
_forgive the light was the call of the dark_  
_can you hear what I never said,_  
_that I need what you are_

"The Jedi. The Sith. Let it all die. "  
Rey didn't understand why the Ben Solo she knew would be so quick to give up his faith in the light. The Ben Solo who would drop all his work as one of the high rankings in First Order just to listen to her jumbled speech about her experiences in the dark cave. Who would always be there to tell her that she wasn't alone.   
Now she understands.  He has been tormented by both sides– the light has distrusted and feared him, the dark has lured him into a trap and has controlled his mind, made him a puppet through the years.   
All his life, Ben is only longing for a family that will be there to tell him that he isn't alone. That this is not his own fight. He is eager for acceptance and love.  
At the realization, Rey's throat tighted.

 _Take a minute and look around, take a look we're all alone_  
_you can never cut me out, don't look away now_  
_Take a minute and look around, been away for too long, for too long_

Rey is still remembering, drowning in her thoughts, when she feels a tug at the back of her mind.  
"I'd rather not do this now. " She said, echoing their former conversation.   
She bit her lips and decided to ignore him. Her tears keep streaming down her face at the effort.   
"You cannot cut me out forever, Rey. "  
"I thought you said that you'll destroy me, right, _Supreme Leader_? " It takes all her training to keep her voice cold and steady. She remembers hearing this from Rose several days earlier. Her new friend had looked at her with hopeful eyes and said ,"but you'll destroy him first, right? You defeated him on _Supermacy._ "   
Rey had excused herself by saying that she is going to meditate, and was quick to flee the room. Driven by the hatred  and disappointment she felt in her heart, she used the Force to slam the door to her quarter closed. Once she was alone again, she could not find the pure rage anymore. And that night, tear had been prickling her eyes.   
This bond is too much.

 _Lay down, lay down on my shoulder, take me to the water,_  
_let's not talk it over_  
_We're islands in an ocean, silences are broken,_  
_lay down on my shoulder as if we were still closer_  
_But we are too far, drifting too far_

"Leave me alone. "She added, still feeling his presence behind her.   
But Ben Solo has vanished and it's just Rey again, sitting alone in the dark.  
_You have chosen a path that I can't follow._ She thought, her emotions thrumming through the bond. _And now we are too far._


End file.
